“Nobody can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. You’re in control of your own emotions. You choose how you feel.”

My mom has been saying this to me my entire life. I used to believe her. I used to think that I was too emotional or too sensitive or too dramatic.
I’ve learned with age that that is wrong. Very very wrong.

We are not in complete control of our emotions. You don’t get to choose how you feel. If it were true, I currently wouldn’t be in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way towards me. I would just stop being in love with him. I wouldn’t be angry with my mother for the way she’s treated me and my siblings. I would simply just choose not to be angry. Depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses wouldn’t exist. Because people would just choose not to feel that way.

My mother has a rug that she sweeps everything under. She believes that as long as you tell yourself that it doesn’t affect you, that it won’t. Not even realizing that what she’s doing isn’t choosing how to feel; She’s choosing not to deal. She’s basically lying to herself, and it’s so completely unhealthy and delusional because all of those problems still live underneath her surface. Nothing gets resolved. Nothing gets handled.

She used to be able to make me feel so inferior. And now I don’t let her do that to me anymore. Because I know that I have every right to feel the way that I do. Everyone has every right to feel however they feel.

I hope anyone reading this understands that. I hope you understand that you have every right to feel however you are feeling right now. I also hope that, for your mental state’s sake, that you are equipped with the proper tools you need to deal with problems in a healthy manner. Because it took me so incredibly long to find mine.

Use Your Brain

Ladies. Gentlemen. Goblins. It’s time to have a little talk, and I would like to call this talk “Do your fucking research”.

Your opinions are your’s, and that’s more than fine, but please DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH. Because you sound like a jackass.

See, people are always so quick to say, “Well that’s my opinion and there’s nothing you can do about it.” And that’s fine. That’s your right. You go. Rock on with your bad self. However, there’s a huge difference between your opinion and facts and a LOT of people, and I mean a LOTTTTTTTTTTTT of people, forget that.

Now, I’m sure at this point in this post, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Well that’s your opinion.”

Sure.

Here’s the difference between you and I.

I DO MY FUCKING RESEARCH.

I don’t make up my mind about something until I have a pretty tight grip on the facts. I talk to people and I listen to them. I read EVERYTHING. Even if it’s not in favor of what I already think, I still read it. I look into things that don’t necessarily have to do with me or how I was raised or even my culture. Because I like to learn things. And I like to have the truth. The facts. The nitty gritty.

Opinions are amazing. And we are so lucky to live in a world where we have the option to have our own. That’s honestly incredible. So stop wasting it because your friend posted something on facebook, and that person is pretty smart so it must be true, right? WRONG. Look into things. Read articles. Talk to people. Go right to the sources.

Stop letting other people think for you.
You have a brain.
Use it.