“Nobody can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. You’re in control of your own emotions. You choose how you feel.”

My mom has been saying this to me my entire life. I used to believe her. I used to think that I was too emotional or too sensitive or too dramatic.
I’ve learned with age that that is wrong. Very very wrong.

We are not in complete control of our emotions. You don’t get to choose how you feel. If it were true, I currently wouldn’t be in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way towards me. I would just stop being in love with him. I wouldn’t be angry with my mother for the way she’s treated me and my siblings. I would simply just choose not to be angry. Depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses wouldn’t exist. Because people would just choose not to feel that way.

My mother has a rug that she sweeps everything under. She believes that as long as you tell yourself that it doesn’t affect you, that it won’t. Not even realizing that what she’s doing isn’t choosing how to feel; She’s choosing not to deal. She’s basically lying to herself, and it’s so completely unhealthy and delusional because all of those problems still live underneath her surface. Nothing gets resolved. Nothing gets handled.

She used to be able to make me feel so inferior. And now I don’t let her do that to me anymore. Because I know that I have every right to feel the way that I do. Everyone has every right to feel however they feel.

I hope anyone reading this understands that. I hope you understand that you have every right to feel however you are feeling right now. I also hope that, for your mental state’s sake, that you are equipped with the proper tools you need to deal with problems in a healthy manner. Because it took me so incredibly long to find mine.

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Let’s Clear a Few Things Up…

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Unfortunately, this is something we clearly need to talk about.
The dreaded word. The word everyone cringes at. The word no one wants to address.

Feminist.

I am a feminist in every sense of the term. First thing about this I want to clear up is that there is not such thing as being “kind of” a feminist.

You’re either a feminist, or you aren’t. There is no black and white. There is no in between. It’s that plain and simple.

I know we have a bad reputation. I’ve heard all of the horror stories.

According to the ancient myths of the internet, we are foul, ugly man hating beasts. We are morbidly obese and super masculine and we are out to ruin men. We hope all men die. We want to keep men around for breeding purposes only. DEATH TO MEN.

As hilarious and entertaining as all of that is, it’s simply just not true.

I do not hate men. I love men. Men are intelligent and interesting and amazing. Men smell good and they have great senses of humor. Some of my favorite people in this world, if not most, are men.

I just wish men and women were equal in this world.
Because I believe that woman are just as funny and interesting. I believe in women JUST AS MUCH as I believe in men.

I don’t think that gender plays a role in ability.

And I don’t think that women are better than men.

I know there are a lot of people in our world who claim the name feminism and are horribly misrepresenting us.

I’m sorry for them. I’m sure, in their mind, they have logical and justifiable reasons why they believe the things they do. Maybe they were hurt very badly by a man. Maybe they were attacked or assaulted. Maybe they’ve just experienced parts of the world in a way that traumatized them for life. Maybe they experienced something so bad, in regards to a man, that they can never look at men the same way ever again.

We simply don’t know.
But I can assure you, that most feminists just want the same opportunities as men.
We want to be paid just the same.
We want to be viewed the same.
We want to be treated the same.

I wish people really understood this.
Please do your research before you judge.
We just want a fair shot in this world.