Some Expert Life Advice – Trust Me.

I’m the friend that everyone else goes to with their problems. I get asked, “How are you so happy?” a lot. I’m going to tell you how. Here is how to be happy.

  1. Happiness is a mind set. Just like everything else in life, it’s a choice. You CHOOSE it. I’m not kidding. It’s that simple, but obviously there are many complications to sort through before you see it that way.
  2. STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. This is a BIG one. It’s so much bigger than people realize. I used to spend so much of my time focusing on what other people thought about me. It led me to walk on eggshells and to make choices about things that I hated. Once, I literally changed my entire outfit because my aunt was coming over and I knew she would hate it. I knew she would comment on it. And it wasn’t a horrible outfit. I just knew it wasn’t something she’d like. That’s INSANE. If someone isn’t personally contributing to your life, FUCK THEM. I mean it. Fuck them. Their opinion of you is irrelevant. And trust me, you’re not going to stop someone’s opinion of you. People come from stubborn stock. If they think something of you, let them. Just stop caring. It doesn’t affect you as much as you feel like it does, I promise.
  3. LET GO OF NEGATIVE PEOPLE. I mean it. Get rid of them. I know that people aren’t disposable, and it’s not always the answer to just get rid of them. But I’m pretty sure 95% of the time, it is the answer. I’ve been there. I’ve called some of the most negative people my best friend. It’s toxic and it’s keeping you down. Misery loves company. Get some new people. If they’re family, it’s a little bit trickier, but I can tell you it’s super logical. Just distance yourself a little bit. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life.
  4. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY. You don’t need anyone’s validation. I see this one the most. You stay with them because you don’t want to be alone, or you’re afraid to be financially independent or blah blah blah blah blah. Once again, toxic. And you don’t need that bullshit. There is nothing wrong with being single. It’s actually fucking exhilarating.
  5. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Explore this world. There is so much to it. Do something that you could never picture yourself doing. Take a few risks. Make a couple mistakes. You’ll learn. You’ll grow. And you’ll have some kickass stories to tell all of your new friends. Which you will make. By getting rid of negative assholes and stepping out of your comfort zone.
  6. Pick your battles. This was a big one for me. I was always getting into some debate with someone about something. It was exhausting. I do have the weird off putting personality when it comes to making sure people are informed. I hate when someone talks out of their ass. I hate when they have this crazy opinion formed around other crazy opinions and they don’t care enough to look at the facts. Irritating. DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET INTO IT WITH THEM. I’ve learned this recently, and it’s made my soul a LOT happier. Just let it go. Unless you decide you absolutely can not. Then go for it. But that’s called choosing the battle. Which is “Stop caring about what other people think”s cousin.
  7. Mind your own business. Yes, you heard me. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Stop worrying so much about what other people are doing. Focus on yourself.
  8. Small minds talk about people. Great minds talk about ideas. I love gossip just as much as the next person. I mainly love it because my life is tremendously drama free, so once in awhile, I like to hear about other people’s. So I get it. It can be entertaining. However, if you notice that you and the people you socialize with daily pretty much only talk about other people, then shame on you. You’re living a very simple and unfulfilling life. Talk about something else. You might surprise yourself.
  9. Do what makes you happy. Simple. You want something? Plan for it. Work for it. Don’t wait for things to just happen for you. Make things happen for yourself. It’s amazing and it’s much more rewarding. Work hard. Play hard. BE HAPPY.

 

There are a lot more things that lead to a happier life, but this is a really good start.

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20 Things That Make Me Feel Good

Today I feel the urge to celebrate more happiness! So here are 20 things that make me feel good.

  1. Water. Simple. Short. True. I love really really ice cold water and the way it feels going down my throat. It makes me feel awake and energized and hydrated. I have a good day when I drink a lot of water.
  2. My dog. He’s my absolute best friend and he makes every day worthwhile.
  3. Family and friends. I’m going to make this one thing because they both make me feel good. I have amazing and supportive and wonderful people in my life and I wouldn’t change a single one of them for anything.
  4. Comfort food. Nothing specific. Maybe chocolate. But there are plenty of other foods that I consider comfort food and they all make me feel fantastic.
  5. Drawing. I just recently discovered my hidden talent! I use canvases and paint markers and I fill the entire page with fun and quirky doodles. They have all turned out amazing and I feel very relaxed and at peace and focused when I make them.
  6. People tickling my feet. I love it. It feels embarrassingly euphoric. If I were loaded I would pay someone to follow me around all day and do it. I love it.
  7. Any rubbing, scratching or tickling of my back. Incredible.
  8. Showers. They make me so happy, even in the morning when I’m rushed because I’m late for work. I will be late for work for my shower. It wakes me up completely and makes me feel good and ready for the day. I am not a normal human until I have my morning shower.
  9. Music. I love listening to music. It puts me in the best mood, or it’s a helpful pair to my bad mood. Either way, it makes me feel good.
  10. Singing. My not so hidden talent. I’ve always done it and, not to toot my own horn, I am great at it. Not like those people who go on American Idol and are horrible and everyone, including the person singing, is shocked when they get denied and are told they are horrible. I’m not those people. I give people chills. In the good way.
  11. Playing guitar. Another relaxing hobby. I’m not great at it yet, but you don’t have to be good at something for it to make you feel good.
  12. Brushing my teeth. Enough said.
  13. Doing my hair and make up and putting on a really cute outfit. Makes any girl feel good and confident and sassy. It makes me feel ready to take on the world.
  14. Driving. I love doing it. I hate being passenger. Let me drive you around.
  15. Laughing. It can get exhausting and make your ribs hurt. Hurts so good.
  16. Sunshine. Ahhhhhhhh ❤
  17. Swimming. I’m a fish. If it were possible to live in water, I’d do it.
  18. Reading. I love books. Books are my friends. I love the feel of the turn of the page. I love holding a book in my hands. I love the way books smell. Nothing beats a good book.
  19. Working. Believe it or not, I love what I do. My job makes me feel accomplished and successful. I don’t over work myself, and I am in no way a workoholic. It still makes me feel good, even if it gets a bit stressful at times.
  20. SLEEP. Sleep makes me feel good. Sleep is life.

 

So those are 20 things that make me feel good 😀 You should make a list and remind yourself what you love in life ❤

In 20 years I’d like to be…

Goals. Dreams. Planning for the future.
Yeah, I don’t do any of that.

People are often pretty shocked when I tell them that I don’t really have any plans or goals for my future. They usually look either confused or horrified or a mixture of both. I don’t play that whole “Where do you see yourself in (insert number here) years” game. I think it’s pointless.

It’s pointless because I hate disappointment. I hate wanting something so badly and then it not happening. So, I learned early on in life that if I don’t make any huge plans or goals, then I can’t possibly be disappointed.

Some people seem to think it’s lazy or irresponsible. BUT GUESS WHAT? I don’t care what people think, especially when it comes to my life and how I choose to live it.

I’m 26 years old. I’ve made a career for myself, without college. I don’t make a huge amount of money, but I love my job and what I do and I make enough money to support myself. I have my own apartment that I pay for entirely on my own. I am about to buy my third car, all of which I have bought on my own. I have a 736 credit score, I have my of my shit together and I am utterly happy.

Do things go wrong? Sure. Am I sometimes unable to pay for something? Duh. Am I literally always happy at every single moment of my life? Almost!

Now, of course I set little goals. Goals that I know for a fact I’m going to accomplish. Because if there is any doubt at all, even a little, I want no part in it.

I literally live my life day by day. And I’m completely happy with that. I don’t have to stress about college loan debt. I don’t worry about really much of anything.

I’m also not positive the way I live would work for everyone. I’m just glad it works for me.

Yesterday was such a good day.

Last night I hung out with my cousin. I haven’t seen him in a really long time because he doesn’t really talk to anyone in our family. I don’t know why, and I’ve only ever asked his sister why and she immediately tensed up and changed the subject. So I took that as a huge hint not to bring it up again, and I haven’t.

So I’m assuming something bad happened a long time ago and he moved to Ypsilanti, which isn’t far from me at all. It’s about an hour drive with traffic.

Ypsi is the most charming city in my life. I love going there, and I don’t go as often as I’d like to. I’d like to think I’ll start going more often now. I hope I do. I feel so free there. If I weren’t so in love and rooted to where I currently live and work, I would one hundred percent move there. It’s a quaint little town with a lot to offer, including the people who live there. They’re amazing. Everyone is so friendly and eccentric. You’ll be sitting on a porch and a group of people will walk by and start talking to you and asking you questions. In all fairness, Ypsi is a college town, so 90% of the time the people are probably drunk or high. But I don’t care. The friendliness. The connection. I’m in love with everything about it.

So last night a friend and I went down to Ypsi to visit a friend who lives there. Long story short, she knew my cousin, which is crazy because they are 10 years apart. It was so random, but really cool. So we messaged him on facebook and he came over to her house and hung out with us.

It was amazing. My cousin and I aren’t very close, but I’d love to be. He’s so intelligent and he’s the kind of person who you want to be around all the time and soak up all of the information he has. And he’s the best kind of intelligent, because he knows he is, and he doesn’t use it arrogantly. He doesn’t make you feel stupid for the questions you ask or for not completely understanding something.

I don’t even know why I’m actually writing about this. Yesterday was just such a good day.

You Time.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than coming home after a long day of work. Coming home to a quiet, empty apartment where the smell is me and the mess is mine.

The dishes piled up in the sink can wait. All I need is a nice tall glass of ice water. Maybe some music. Cuddle up with fur baby and read a book or watch any movie of my choice on my huge flat screen.

I don’t have to do anything or answer to anyone. I can just be alone and quiet. Not have to talk for hours.

I love living by myself. Most people tell me they don’t know how I do it. They say, “I could never live all by myself. I would be too lonely.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a recluse. I have friends and family over all the time. My brother spends the night at least three times a week. I have plenty of people in my life.

I go out too. All the time.

But.

I also really just love the quiet.
The silences so certain that I can hear all of my own thoughts.

Nobody asking me questions or telling me to do something or somebody needing something.

Just me. In my cozy little apartment cottage.

Find comfort in being by yourself. Learn about you. Focus on you.

People don’t realize how important time for yourself is. Even if you spend it doing the most simple things. It’s insanely significant.

And if you’re not comfortable by yourself, then I suggest you get to know you a little better.

Try it. You might surprise yourself.

 

Grateful. Thankful. Happy.

 

Every so often I like to forget about anything negative in my life and be grateful for all of the so many things I have to be thankful for.

So I’ve put on some good tunes and I’m prepared to talk about all of the amazing points of my life.

It’s always good to remind yourself of how lucky you are, no matter how lucky you aren’t.

If you can’t think of anything in your life to be thankful for, I’m very sorry. I’m sure it’s not your fault, but you obviously have some changes to make.

So here is what I’m thankful for.

  1. First and foremost, I am healthy and alive. I don’t have perfect 20/20 vision, but I can see. Not only can I see, but I also have very cute glasses that I love to wear. I just got over being sick. I had a pretty wicked sinus infection. But my body, immune system and a healthy dose of advil sinus and cold has cured me back to as good as new! I can walk. I can hear and taste and smell. I am alive.
  2. My family is amazing. I am absolutely blessed. Sure, they aren’t perfect and we don’t always get along. But no matter what happens, I know they love me and accept me no matter what. And they always have my back, even if I’m wrong. They listen to me and help me and support me. They are wonderful and kind and I love them all very much.
  3. I have great friends. I know that life gets busy and we all have things going on in our lives. But I have really amazing friends. Friends that would drop whatever they’re doing if I needed them. Friends who care about me and how I’m doing and what’s going on in my life. Good friends make a good life.
  4. I have the best dog in the world. Seriously. He’s probably better than your’s. I’m sorry to break the news this way, but it’s true.
  5. I have a roof over my head, clean clothes on my back and food on the table. I live by myself with my fur baby, so as you can probably guess, money gets tight. I don’t make a ton of it. But I’m very comfortable. Sure, sometimes I get a little behind on my bills. Sometimes things don’t always work out. But I’m never hungry, dirty or cold. And with a life like that, you can’t complain.
  6. I’m thankful for the little things in life. My guitar. My art work. My books. Music. Good tv shows. Good food. My many great scented candles. You have to appreciate the little things. They’re honestly the secret to happiness.
  7. I’m thankful for my healthy mind. This is a big one. Growing up, I wasn’t very aware of mental illnesses and what people and their family members go through. The older I get, the more aware of the world I am. And the more I see just how great I’ve had it, despite any hard times.
  8. I’m thankful for cigarettes. I know. Disgusting. But they keep me sane. They are my one unhealthy gross habit in life. My one vice. She’s an evil temptress, but she’s mine.
  9. I’m thankful that I’m happy. I see so many people struggle with their own happiness. It honestly breaks my heart, because I have to tell you dear readers, that happiness is the best choice I’ve ever made for myself. And the most important one. If you’re not happy, then why the hell are you here?
  10. I’m thankful for the things I’ve learned in this life. I’ve learned many things by my young and carefree age of 26 that most people don’t even learn until they’re on their death bed. I’ve learned to love myself, even the flaws. I’ve learned to not give a shit about what other people think of me, even family at times. It’s my life and I live it for me. Unless you’re paying my bills or contributing to my welfare (which no one besides me really is), then your opinions and thoughts about me do not matter one bit to me. I’ve learned to sweat the small stuff. My grandma Ethel taught me that. I’ve learned to TRY not to worry about the things that haven’t happened yet. People waste so much time and stress on things that “could” happen, that they forget about all of the things that currently are happening. I’ve learned that love is the greatest thing I can accomplish as a human being. I’ve learned a healthy amount about karma through personal experiences. It’s okay to take a bit from the universe sometimes, but just be sure to put some of it back. I’ve learned that nothing cures the blues like a good old fashioned healthy and spontaneous adventure. I’ve learned a lot, and I’m sure I still have a lot to learn. And I’m excited for that.
  11. I’m thankful for the world and how much of it I’ve seen. I’m also thankful for some of the parts that I haven’t seen.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure I’m thankful for a lot more than that. These are just the things that came directly to mind. And now that I’ve gotten them down, I feel so much more blessed than when I started my list.

Love you. Love the world. Love everything. Find your happiness and hold on tight.

Because life is such a beautiful ride.