Stop and Smell the Roses

rosesssss

 

Let me just start this by saying that I have had the week from hell. Like, Satan woke up and looked through his registry and said to himself, “Hmmm….she’s had it far too easy lately, so let’s just change that for a bit.” I’m touched Satan, really, but can you please move on?

It started with me losing a friend. Now, normally death and I get along pretty well. I’ve lost a lot of people in my almost 27 years of life. I’ve never lost a 24 year old friend. And I’ve never lost a friend to drugs. Needless to say, this particular death has left a bad taste in my mouth. It hit me really hard and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still processing it and trying to deal with it.

I met an amazing guy and we hit it off. So I thought that maybe that was a silver lining. Nope. Just another disappointment. Which, I should honestly not even be surprised about because my luck in the romance department…Well let’s just say that if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.

On top of that, my boss has been a major pill. He’s been having some medical issues, so he isn’t always in the best of moods. That’s putting it nicely. He’s been using me as a punching bag for a long time, and I think that all of this thrown together has just been pushing me over the edge.

BUT WAIT. There’s more! Someone hacked my debit card and took all of my money (I had $70.00 left and part of that was a bill that was due and the rest had to last me the whole week). They also over drafted my account. The bill that was due was my credit card bill, and since I couldn’t pay it, I got a late fee that I cannot get reversed.

SO. Here I am. Beaten, exhausted, depressed, angry, alone, sad, scared and penniless.

I had to drop my sister off at home after work and my mom called me and told me to come in for a moment. She sounded really angry, and I tried to think of what I might have done to upset her, but I was coming up short.

I walk in and she’s in her dining room and on the dining room table are bags and bags of groceries.

I know that she’s been stressed lately, so I grab a bag to start helping her put them away and she stops me.

My mom bought me bags and bags of groceries.

Now, none of you know me, but I assure you that I am obnoxiously independent. I don’t know how my mom knew that I was starving and that I have no food in my house. She did know that someone hacked my debit card, so she probably just put two and two together.

It was the nicest thing that someone has done for me in awhile.
And in that moment, my very horrible ugly week started to fade away.

Death is a natural part of life. A natural part of growing. And it’s inevitable. As tragic as it is, it’s still a learning experience. Cherish your moments on this Earth. Cherish the people that you hold dear. Life is so short, and you never know when your time is up. Spend your time wisely.

A boyfriend is not a necessity. It is not a priority. Relationships are hard, but if it’s ever meant to happen, I fully believe it will. And it’s also okay if it isn’t. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and don’t be afraid to try. If you get knocked down, get back up and try again.

People can be assholes. I’m sure Mr. Money Grabber in Chicago who was gallivanting around paying $8.00 for parking and $61.00 on shoes and $85.00 on who knows what else couldn’t have possibly stopped to think for a minute that he was honestly ruining someone. I’m sure he or she probably tried to justify it by thinking the card they hacked probably had a lot of dollars behind it, so that makes it okay. I forgive you. You’re a son of a bitch, and I’m sure Lady Karma has quite a treat in store for you, but I still forgive you. Enjoy your shoes.

My boss is human. And at the end of the day, he’s still a great boss and I’m still very thankful for him.

No matter how bad things get, they always get better. And they’ll get worse again. And better again. It’s balance.

I hope everyone else is enjoying their week. Stop and smell the roses.

20 Things That Make Me Feel Good

Today I feel the urge to celebrate more happiness! So here are 20 things that make me feel good.

  1. Water. Simple. Short. True. I love really really ice cold water and the way it feels going down my throat. It makes me feel awake and energized and hydrated. I have a good day when I drink a lot of water.
  2. My dog. He’s my absolute best friend and he makes every day worthwhile.
  3. Family and friends. I’m going to make this one thing because they both make me feel good. I have amazing and supportive and wonderful people in my life and I wouldn’t change a single one of them for anything.
  4. Comfort food. Nothing specific. Maybe chocolate. But there are plenty of other foods that I consider comfort food and they all make me feel fantastic.
  5. Drawing. I just recently discovered my hidden talent! I use canvases and paint markers and I fill the entire page with fun and quirky doodles. They have all turned out amazing and I feel very relaxed and at peace and focused when I make them.
  6. People tickling my feet. I love it. It feels embarrassingly euphoric. If I were loaded I would pay someone to follow me around all day and do it. I love it.
  7. Any rubbing, scratching or tickling of my back. Incredible.
  8. Showers. They make me so happy, even in the morning when I’m rushed because I’m late for work. I will be late for work for my shower. It wakes me up completely and makes me feel good and ready for the day. I am not a normal human until I have my morning shower.
  9. Music. I love listening to music. It puts me in the best mood, or it’s a helpful pair to my bad mood. Either way, it makes me feel good.
  10. Singing. My not so hidden talent. I’ve always done it and, not to toot my own horn, I am great at it. Not like those people who go on American Idol and are horrible and everyone, including the person singing, is shocked when they get denied and are told they are horrible. I’m not those people. I give people chills. In the good way.
  11. Playing guitar. Another relaxing hobby. I’m not great at it yet, but you don’t have to be good at something for it to make you feel good.
  12. Brushing my teeth. Enough said.
  13. Doing my hair and make up and putting on a really cute outfit. Makes any girl feel good and confident and sassy. It makes me feel ready to take on the world.
  14. Driving. I love doing it. I hate being passenger. Let me drive you around.
  15. Laughing. It can get exhausting and make your ribs hurt. Hurts so good.
  16. Sunshine. Ahhhhhhhh ❤
  17. Swimming. I’m a fish. If it were possible to live in water, I’d do it.
  18. Reading. I love books. Books are my friends. I love the feel of the turn of the page. I love holding a book in my hands. I love the way books smell. Nothing beats a good book.
  19. Working. Believe it or not, I love what I do. My job makes me feel accomplished and successful. I don’t over work myself, and I am in no way a workoholic. It still makes me feel good, even if it gets a bit stressful at times.
  20. SLEEP. Sleep makes me feel good. Sleep is life.

 

So those are 20 things that make me feel good 😀 You should make a list and remind yourself what you love in life ❤

To My Baby Sister’s Father…

“Pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house.” and “You’re a little bitch, just like your mother.” are not really appropriate responses to your 13 year old child. Especially when all she did was leave the room to go upstairs to her room to finish the show that you rudely changed the channel on while she was in the middle of watching it, not that what she did even matters. You’re the adult and you should know better.

I’ve known you for a long time. And you’ve never been a nice person. You’re actually a really horrible person, but I always figured it was because my brother and I aren’t your children. And my mom is an easy target.

I never thought I’d see the day where you treat your own daughter as harshly and as horrible as you treat everyone else in your life.

And now you have.

I’m not one to wish ill on a person. And I’m not wishing ill on you by any means. I just hope you know that I honestly don’t give a fuck what happens to you. I don’t care if you drink yourself to death. I don’t care if you end up alone and even more miserable because you don’t know how to treat people properly. I don’t care if my baby sister never speaks to you again. Because you 100% deserve whatever bad things you have coming for you.

Karma is a bitch, and you are no exception.

I am truly sorry for whatever happened to you that made you into this mean, hateful, racist, homophobic and misogynistic asshole that you are today.

I would love to say I wish my mom never met you, but then I wouldn’t have the amazing, hilarious, goofy, intelligent and beautiful baby girl that is my sister, my best friend and my everything.

I thank you for her. And that’s it.

And you better hope to whatever God you believe in that she turns out just fine from all of this.
You’d better pray that she understands that your words are just the inner reflection on how you feel about YOURSELF, and that, despite how they sound coming out of your mouth, that it has nothing to do with who she is at all.

Because she is nothing like you whatsoever.

She is kind and understanding. She is respectful and beautiful. She is sweet and forgiving. She is compassionate and trustworthy. She is a good person.

She is everything that you will never be.

And if you didn’t already know this, I will do whatever I have to do to protect her.

Yesterday was such a good day.

Last night I hung out with my cousin. I haven’t seen him in a really long time because he doesn’t really talk to anyone in our family. I don’t know why, and I’ve only ever asked his sister why and she immediately tensed up and changed the subject. So I took that as a huge hint not to bring it up again, and I haven’t.

So I’m assuming something bad happened a long time ago and he moved to Ypsilanti, which isn’t far from me at all. It’s about an hour drive with traffic.

Ypsi is the most charming city in my life. I love going there, and I don’t go as often as I’d like to. I’d like to think I’ll start going more often now. I hope I do. I feel so free there. If I weren’t so in love and rooted to where I currently live and work, I would one hundred percent move there. It’s a quaint little town with a lot to offer, including the people who live there. They’re amazing. Everyone is so friendly and eccentric. You’ll be sitting on a porch and a group of people will walk by and start talking to you and asking you questions. In all fairness, Ypsi is a college town, so 90% of the time the people are probably drunk or high. But I don’t care. The friendliness. The connection. I’m in love with everything about it.

So last night a friend and I went down to Ypsi to visit a friend who lives there. Long story short, she knew my cousin, which is crazy because they are 10 years apart. It was so random, but really cool. So we messaged him on facebook and he came over to her house and hung out with us.

It was amazing. My cousin and I aren’t very close, but I’d love to be. He’s so intelligent and he’s the kind of person who you want to be around all the time and soak up all of the information he has. And he’s the best kind of intelligent, because he knows he is, and he doesn’t use it arrogantly. He doesn’t make you feel stupid for the questions you ask or for not completely understanding something.

I don’t even know why I’m actually writing about this. Yesterday was just such a good day.

Grateful. Thankful. Happy.

 

Every so often I like to forget about anything negative in my life and be grateful for all of the so many things I have to be thankful for.

So I’ve put on some good tunes and I’m prepared to talk about all of the amazing points of my life.

It’s always good to remind yourself of how lucky you are, no matter how lucky you aren’t.

If you can’t think of anything in your life to be thankful for, I’m very sorry. I’m sure it’s not your fault, but you obviously have some changes to make.

So here is what I’m thankful for.

  1. First and foremost, I am healthy and alive. I don’t have perfect 20/20 vision, but I can see. Not only can I see, but I also have very cute glasses that I love to wear. I just got over being sick. I had a pretty wicked sinus infection. But my body, immune system and a healthy dose of advil sinus and cold has cured me back to as good as new! I can walk. I can hear and taste and smell. I am alive.
  2. My family is amazing. I am absolutely blessed. Sure, they aren’t perfect and we don’t always get along. But no matter what happens, I know they love me and accept me no matter what. And they always have my back, even if I’m wrong. They listen to me and help me and support me. They are wonderful and kind and I love them all very much.
  3. I have great friends. I know that life gets busy and we all have things going on in our lives. But I have really amazing friends. Friends that would drop whatever they’re doing if I needed them. Friends who care about me and how I’m doing and what’s going on in my life. Good friends make a good life.
  4. I have the best dog in the world. Seriously. He’s probably better than your’s. I’m sorry to break the news this way, but it’s true.
  5. I have a roof over my head, clean clothes on my back and food on the table. I live by myself with my fur baby, so as you can probably guess, money gets tight. I don’t make a ton of it. But I’m very comfortable. Sure, sometimes I get a little behind on my bills. Sometimes things don’t always work out. But I’m never hungry, dirty or cold. And with a life like that, you can’t complain.
  6. I’m thankful for the little things in life. My guitar. My art work. My books. Music. Good tv shows. Good food. My many great scented candles. You have to appreciate the little things. They’re honestly the secret to happiness.
  7. I’m thankful for my healthy mind. This is a big one. Growing up, I wasn’t very aware of mental illnesses and what people and their family members go through. The older I get, the more aware of the world I am. And the more I see just how great I’ve had it, despite any hard times.
  8. I’m thankful for cigarettes. I know. Disgusting. But they keep me sane. They are my one unhealthy gross habit in life. My one vice. She’s an evil temptress, but she’s mine.
  9. I’m thankful that I’m happy. I see so many people struggle with their own happiness. It honestly breaks my heart, because I have to tell you dear readers, that happiness is the best choice I’ve ever made for myself. And the most important one. If you’re not happy, then why the hell are you here?
  10. I’m thankful for the things I’ve learned in this life. I’ve learned many things by my young and carefree age of 26 that most people don’t even learn until they’re on their death bed. I’ve learned to love myself, even the flaws. I’ve learned to not give a shit about what other people think of me, even family at times. It’s my life and I live it for me. Unless you’re paying my bills or contributing to my welfare (which no one besides me really is), then your opinions and thoughts about me do not matter one bit to me. I’ve learned to sweat the small stuff. My grandma Ethel taught me that. I’ve learned to TRY not to worry about the things that haven’t happened yet. People waste so much time and stress on things that “could” happen, that they forget about all of the things that currently are happening. I’ve learned that love is the greatest thing I can accomplish as a human being. I’ve learned a healthy amount about karma through personal experiences. It’s okay to take a bit from the universe sometimes, but just be sure to put some of it back. I’ve learned that nothing cures the blues like a good old fashioned healthy and spontaneous adventure. I’ve learned a lot, and I’m sure I still have a lot to learn. And I’m excited for that.
  11. I’m thankful for the world and how much of it I’ve seen. I’m also thankful for some of the parts that I haven’t seen.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure I’m thankful for a lot more than that. These are just the things that came directly to mind. And now that I’ve gotten them down, I feel so much more blessed than when I started my list.

Love you. Love the world. Love everything. Find your happiness and hold on tight.

Because life is such a beautiful ride.