Just A Little Thank You :)

I just wanted to take a little time out to say thank you to my followers and viewers. I really appreciate you 🙂 I’d also love any sort of feedback; questions, topics to write about. Whatever you can think of 😀 Have a beautiful day lovelies 🙂

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Some Expert Life Advice – Trust Me.

I’m the friend that everyone else goes to with their problems. I get asked, “How are you so happy?” a lot. I’m going to tell you how. Here is how to be happy.

  1. Happiness is a mind set. Just like everything else in life, it’s a choice. You CHOOSE it. I’m not kidding. It’s that simple, but obviously there are many complications to sort through before you see it that way.
  2. STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. This is a BIG one. It’s so much bigger than people realize. I used to spend so much of my time focusing on what other people thought about me. It led me to walk on eggshells and to make choices about things that I hated. Once, I literally changed my entire outfit because my aunt was coming over and I knew she would hate it. I knew she would comment on it. And it wasn’t a horrible outfit. I just knew it wasn’t something she’d like. That’s INSANE. If someone isn’t personally contributing to your life, FUCK THEM. I mean it. Fuck them. Their opinion of you is irrelevant. And trust me, you’re not going to stop someone’s opinion of you. People come from stubborn stock. If they think something of you, let them. Just stop caring. It doesn’t affect you as much as you feel like it does, I promise.
  3. LET GO OF NEGATIVE PEOPLE. I mean it. Get rid of them. I know that people aren’t disposable, and it’s not always the answer to just get rid of them. But I’m pretty sure 95% of the time, it is the answer. I’ve been there. I’ve called some of the most negative people my best friend. It’s toxic and it’s keeping you down. Misery loves company. Get some new people. If they’re family, it’s a little bit trickier, but I can tell you it’s super logical. Just distance yourself a little bit. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life.
  4. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY. You don’t need anyone’s validation. I see this one the most. You stay with them because you don’t want to be alone, or you’re afraid to be financially independent or blah blah blah blah blah. Once again, toxic. And you don’t need that bullshit. There is nothing wrong with being single. It’s actually fucking exhilarating.
  5. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Explore this world. There is so much to it. Do something that you could never picture yourself doing. Take a few risks. Make a couple mistakes. You’ll learn. You’ll grow. And you’ll have some kickass stories to tell all of your new friends. Which you will make. By getting rid of negative assholes and stepping out of your comfort zone.
  6. Pick your battles. This was a big one for me. I was always getting into some debate with someone about something. It was exhausting. I do have the weird off putting personality when it comes to making sure people are informed. I hate when someone talks out of their ass. I hate when they have this crazy opinion formed around other crazy opinions and they don’t care enough to look at the facts. Irritating. DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET INTO IT WITH THEM. I’ve learned this recently, and it’s made my soul a LOT happier. Just let it go. Unless you decide you absolutely can not. Then go for it. But that’s called choosing the battle. Which is “Stop caring about what other people think”s cousin.
  7. Mind your own business. Yes, you heard me. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Stop worrying so much about what other people are doing. Focus on yourself.
  8. Small minds talk about people. Great minds talk about ideas. I love gossip just as much as the next person. I mainly love it because my life is tremendously drama free, so once in awhile, I like to hear about other people’s. So I get it. It can be entertaining. However, if you notice that you and the people you socialize with daily pretty much only talk about other people, then shame on you. You’re living a very simple and unfulfilling life. Talk about something else. You might surprise yourself.
  9. Do what makes you happy. Simple. You want something? Plan for it. Work for it. Don’t wait for things to just happen for you. Make things happen for yourself. It’s amazing and it’s much more rewarding. Work hard. Play hard. BE HAPPY.

 

There are a lot more things that lead to a happier life, but this is a really good start.

Just Be Done Already.

Growing up, I was never into politics. I didn’t really care, because younger people usually don’t. Younger people have more of a one track mind, and it’s usually headed towards something that benefits them. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Obviously, I got older and started caring more about what is going on in the world and what happens. I started to form opinions. I love doing research and I love knowing the facts, as hard as those are to come by sometimes.

I’ve been extremely invested in this year’s presidential election, but something has happened to me over the last couple of weeks; I’ve stopped caring as much.

And here’s why :

  1. The president doesn’t really matter. A lot of people won’t agree with me on this, and that’s fine. This may even be more of a personal opinion rather than a fact, but so be it. I don’t think the president has much power as everyone gives them credit for. Do they have power at all? Of course. But I also truly believe that bigger government, the ones behind the president, hold more power than the latter.
  2. Trump and Clinton are both horrible choices. I would rather see Clinton win, because at least she has political experience, but that’s it. She has political experience. I don’t like her. And I REALLY don’t like Trump. Trump will probably set off the nukes and kill us all, but Hillary isn’t going to all of a sudden fix things. She’s a politician, and politicians don’t care about us or our families. They don’t care, plain and simple.
  3. This is exhausting. I have literally lost people over who we are voting for. It’s insanity. I’ve deleted about 5-10 people, family members included, off of my facebook because I can’t stand their ignorance or their bullshit posts. I can’t stand how nobody is willing to actually research what they are talking about. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I’ve never seen anything like it.
  4. This isn’t really a reason, but I just want everyone to know how embarrassed I am on behalf of our entire country, because our entire country is a huge joke to other countries right now.

 

So I just want it to be over. End.

Use Your Brain

Ladies. Gentlemen. Goblins. It’s time to have a little talk, and I would like to call this talk “Do your fucking research”.

Your opinions are your’s, and that’s more than fine, but please DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH. Because you sound like a jackass.

See, people are always so quick to say, “Well that’s my opinion and there’s nothing you can do about it.” And that’s fine. That’s your right. You go. Rock on with your bad self. However, there’s a huge difference between your opinion and facts and a LOT of people, and I mean a LOTTTTTTTTTTTT of people, forget that.

Now, I’m sure at this point in this post, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Well that’s your opinion.”

Sure.

Here’s the difference between you and I.

I DO MY FUCKING RESEARCH.

I don’t make up my mind about something until I have a pretty tight grip on the facts. I talk to people and I listen to them. I read EVERYTHING. Even if it’s not in favor of what I already think, I still read it. I look into things that don’t necessarily have to do with me or how I was raised or even my culture. Because I like to learn things. And I like to have the truth. The facts. The nitty gritty.

Opinions are amazing. And we are so lucky to live in a world where we have the option to have our own. That’s honestly incredible. So stop wasting it because your friend posted something on facebook, and that person is pretty smart so it must be true, right? WRONG. Look into things. Read articles. Talk to people. Go right to the sources.

Stop letting other people think for you.
You have a brain.
Use it.

Little Girls and Broken Hearts

I’m sure you can all guess that when I found out that my baby sister, who is 14 years old, had gotten herself a boyfriend, that I wasn’t really the happiest 26 year old on the planet. However, I was as supportive and happy for her as I could be.

That relationship didn’t last long. Maybe a couple weeks or so. My sister came to the conclusion that they were better off as friends, and that’s how she wanted them to stay.

I was, needless to say, super relieved.

Until I find out that she now has a second boyfriend.

This one lasted a bit longer. I slowly realized that she really really liked this boy. My sister isn’t one for sharing too much, and she doesn’t really talk a lot, so getting information out of her is pretty difficult.

So she likes this boy. They date for a few months. He’s at all of the family gatherings and her birthday party. He seemed okay I suppose. His hair was always nice and he didn’t talk enough for me to form any real opinions of him.

So the other day my sister spent the night at my house. We’ve tried to cram as many sleepovers as we could into this summer. I was playing snake on the roku and she was on her phone. She got really quiet out of nowhere and I could see out of the corner of my eye that she’s holding her phone up and outward facing me.

This is something she does often. She’ll find something funny or cute and she’ll show it to me. I tried to look really fast because I didn’t want to mess up in snake. All I saw was that it was a super long text and I noticed my sister’s face wasn’t her normal cheerful self. So I paused the game and took her phone and read the most stupid break up text of my life.

TIP FOR ALL OF YOU : Do NOT break up with your significant other over text message. I don’t care what condition your relationship is in or how old you are or anything. Do it in person, or at least over a phone call. And even a phone call is pushing it. Cowards break up through text messages. Don’t be a coward.

So immediately I knew that she was really upset. She didn’t say anything, and she didn’t have to.

I put down the roku remote and I opened my arms and she slid right into my lap and cried for what seemed like hours, but was probably about 20 minutes.

I always knew this day would come. I just didn’t think that this day was already here. As you can guess by the ages, there are 13 years between us (my birthday is in a couple of weeks). So most things that she is experiencing at her age, I’ve already experienced and then some. I’ve always been her best friend, and we will always be best friends, but I won’t deny that there is and always will be a slight motherly bond between us. It stems from the fact that I basically raised the child mixed with the fact that people are ALWAYS assuming we’re mother and daughter.

So as you can guess at this point, my heart is broken too. I’m extremely overprotective and this boy is very lucky that I am not the violent type. Because I would be in jail right now instead of typing this.

I just love her to pieces and I know she’s going to be fine and this is all part of growing up and blah blah blah.

I just hate it.

Stop and Smell the Roses

rosesssss

 

Let me just start this by saying that I have had the week from hell. Like, Satan woke up and looked through his registry and said to himself, “Hmmm….she’s had it far too easy lately, so let’s just change that for a bit.” I’m touched Satan, really, but can you please move on?

It started with me losing a friend. Now, normally death and I get along pretty well. I’ve lost a lot of people in my almost 27 years of life. I’ve never lost a 24 year old friend. And I’ve never lost a friend to drugs. Needless to say, this particular death has left a bad taste in my mouth. It hit me really hard and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still processing it and trying to deal with it.

I met an amazing guy and we hit it off. So I thought that maybe that was a silver lining. Nope. Just another disappointment. Which, I should honestly not even be surprised about because my luck in the romance department…Well let’s just say that if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.

On top of that, my boss has been a major pill. He’s been having some medical issues, so he isn’t always in the best of moods. That’s putting it nicely. He’s been using me as a punching bag for a long time, and I think that all of this thrown together has just been pushing me over the edge.

BUT WAIT. There’s more! Someone hacked my debit card and took all of my money (I had $70.00 left and part of that was a bill that was due and the rest had to last me the whole week). They also over drafted my account. The bill that was due was my credit card bill, and since I couldn’t pay it, I got a late fee that I cannot get reversed.

SO. Here I am. Beaten, exhausted, depressed, angry, alone, sad, scared and penniless.

I had to drop my sister off at home after work and my mom called me and told me to come in for a moment. She sounded really angry, and I tried to think of what I might have done to upset her, but I was coming up short.

I walk in and she’s in her dining room and on the dining room table are bags and bags of groceries.

I know that she’s been stressed lately, so I grab a bag to start helping her put them away and she stops me.

My mom bought me bags and bags of groceries.

Now, none of you know me, but I assure you that I am obnoxiously independent. I don’t know how my mom knew that I was starving and that I have no food in my house. She did know that someone hacked my debit card, so she probably just put two and two together.

It was the nicest thing that someone has done for me in awhile.
And in that moment, my very horrible ugly week started to fade away.

Death is a natural part of life. A natural part of growing. And it’s inevitable. As tragic as it is, it’s still a learning experience. Cherish your moments on this Earth. Cherish the people that you hold dear. Life is so short, and you never know when your time is up. Spend your time wisely.

A boyfriend is not a necessity. It is not a priority. Relationships are hard, but if it’s ever meant to happen, I fully believe it will. And it’s also okay if it isn’t. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and don’t be afraid to try. If you get knocked down, get back up and try again.

People can be assholes. I’m sure Mr. Money Grabber in Chicago who was gallivanting around paying $8.00 for parking and $61.00 on shoes and $85.00 on who knows what else couldn’t have possibly stopped to think for a minute that he was honestly ruining someone. I’m sure he or she probably tried to justify it by thinking the card they hacked probably had a lot of dollars behind it, so that makes it okay. I forgive you. You’re a son of a bitch, and I’m sure Lady Karma has quite a treat in store for you, but I still forgive you. Enjoy your shoes.

My boss is human. And at the end of the day, he’s still a great boss and I’m still very thankful for him.

No matter how bad things get, they always get better. And they’ll get worse again. And better again. It’s balance.

I hope everyone else is enjoying their week. Stop and smell the roses.

20 Things That Make Me Feel Good

Today I feel the urge to celebrate more happiness! So here are 20 things that make me feel good.

  1. Water. Simple. Short. True. I love really really ice cold water and the way it feels going down my throat. It makes me feel awake and energized and hydrated. I have a good day when I drink a lot of water.
  2. My dog. He’s my absolute best friend and he makes every day worthwhile.
  3. Family and friends. I’m going to make this one thing because they both make me feel good. I have amazing and supportive and wonderful people in my life and I wouldn’t change a single one of them for anything.
  4. Comfort food. Nothing specific. Maybe chocolate. But there are plenty of other foods that I consider comfort food and they all make me feel fantastic.
  5. Drawing. I just recently discovered my hidden talent! I use canvases and paint markers and I fill the entire page with fun and quirky doodles. They have all turned out amazing and I feel very relaxed and at peace and focused when I make them.
  6. People tickling my feet. I love it. It feels embarrassingly euphoric. If I were loaded I would pay someone to follow me around all day and do it. I love it.
  7. Any rubbing, scratching or tickling of my back. Incredible.
  8. Showers. They make me so happy, even in the morning when I’m rushed because I’m late for work. I will be late for work for my shower. It wakes me up completely and makes me feel good and ready for the day. I am not a normal human until I have my morning shower.
  9. Music. I love listening to music. It puts me in the best mood, or it’s a helpful pair to my bad mood. Either way, it makes me feel good.
  10. Singing. My not so hidden talent. I’ve always done it and, not to toot my own horn, I am great at it. Not like those people who go on American Idol and are horrible and everyone, including the person singing, is shocked when they get denied and are told they are horrible. I’m not those people. I give people chills. In the good way.
  11. Playing guitar. Another relaxing hobby. I’m not great at it yet, but you don’t have to be good at something for it to make you feel good.
  12. Brushing my teeth. Enough said.
  13. Doing my hair and make up and putting on a really cute outfit. Makes any girl feel good and confident and sassy. It makes me feel ready to take on the world.
  14. Driving. I love doing it. I hate being passenger. Let me drive you around.
  15. Laughing. It can get exhausting and make your ribs hurt. Hurts so good.
  16. Sunshine. Ahhhhhhhh ❤
  17. Swimming. I’m a fish. If it were possible to live in water, I’d do it.
  18. Reading. I love books. Books are my friends. I love the feel of the turn of the page. I love holding a book in my hands. I love the way books smell. Nothing beats a good book.
  19. Working. Believe it or not, I love what I do. My job makes me feel accomplished and successful. I don’t over work myself, and I am in no way a workoholic. It still makes me feel good, even if it gets a bit stressful at times.
  20. SLEEP. Sleep makes me feel good. Sleep is life.

 

So those are 20 things that make me feel good 😀 You should make a list and remind yourself what you love in life ❤

I Cannot Stand Bullying.

At the end of May an eighth grade boy at my sister’s school attempted to commit suicide.

I don’t know this boy personally, and neither does my sister, but upon hearing the news I immediately broke down in tears.

This is something that’s happening a lot and it shatters my heart into pieces every single time I hear about these situations.

Apparently, the boy is homosexual and was being bullied at school. According to the boy’s parents, the bullying was reported several times to the school and was even reported to the police.

I am appalled. I’m angry at the school for not taking the appropriate action. I’m angry with the police for not investigating further. I’m angry at whoever was bullying this child and I’m even more angry with the parents of the bullies who have no conscious idea what their child is truly like or how they act and how they treat their peers.

School is not a war zone. School is supposed to be a safe environment where a child can learn and socialize and grow. And school can be hard enough with the stresses of homework and tests and extracurricular activities and projects and friends. The last thing any child needs is to be treated poorly by people they are forced to be around five days a week.

This needs to stop. Children shouldn’t be firing bullets into their bodies.

Please. Teach your kids to be kind. Teach them to treat others respectfully, whether they agree with someone else’s choices or not.

This has to end. The world is already ugly enough. These children are our future.

To My Baby Sister’s Father…

“Pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house.” and “You’re a little bitch, just like your mother.” are not really appropriate responses to your 13 year old child. Especially when all she did was leave the room to go upstairs to her room to finish the show that you rudely changed the channel on while she was in the middle of watching it, not that what she did even matters. You’re the adult and you should know better.

I’ve known you for a long time. And you’ve never been a nice person. You’re actually a really horrible person, but I always figured it was because my brother and I aren’t your children. And my mom is an easy target.

I never thought I’d see the day where you treat your own daughter as harshly and as horrible as you treat everyone else in your life.

And now you have.

I’m not one to wish ill on a person. And I’m not wishing ill on you by any means. I just hope you know that I honestly don’t give a fuck what happens to you. I don’t care if you drink yourself to death. I don’t care if you end up alone and even more miserable because you don’t know how to treat people properly. I don’t care if my baby sister never speaks to you again. Because you 100% deserve whatever bad things you have coming for you.

Karma is a bitch, and you are no exception.

I am truly sorry for whatever happened to you that made you into this mean, hateful, racist, homophobic and misogynistic asshole that you are today.

I would love to say I wish my mom never met you, but then I wouldn’t have the amazing, hilarious, goofy, intelligent and beautiful baby girl that is my sister, my best friend and my everything.

I thank you for her. And that’s it.

And you better hope to whatever God you believe in that she turns out just fine from all of this.
You’d better pray that she understands that your words are just the inner reflection on how you feel about YOURSELF, and that, despite how they sound coming out of your mouth, that it has nothing to do with who she is at all.

Because she is nothing like you whatsoever.

She is kind and understanding. She is respectful and beautiful. She is sweet and forgiving. She is compassionate and trustworthy. She is a good person.

She is everything that you will never be.

And if you didn’t already know this, I will do whatever I have to do to protect her.

Just a little rant.

I just really want to bitch about something very important to me for a few minutes. It’s something I have a very strong opinion on, and I am begging you to not mistake my passion for insanity.

I know that I have done a feminist rant before, and this is kind of along those lines. I don’t know why it’s been so strongly apparent today, but it’s just been bugging me all day long and I can’t take it. I’ve got to get it down.

When I was younger, I was always reading magazines. You know the ones; 17. People. Elle. Vogue.

And I understand that a lot of times they appreciate a woman’s beauty and blah blah blah. And I’m sure they’ve done a lot of strong and independent pieces over the years. I honestly haven’t picked one up in at least a decade.

But all I can remember is how I used to scan them to find the quizzes about boys and if your crush likes you back and how you’d be rated from 1-10 on your physical appearance and quirky tips to lure in the boys and blah blah blah.

And then I was driving to work this morning and I usually listen to Detroit’s very popular channel 955 on my way to work. And this particular morning they were talking about a hair removal facility, and the name slips me at this exact moment, but they talk about this place often.

Now, I don’t have a problem with them advertising for the hair removal facility. I know plenty of woman with abundant and unwanted body hair. I know women who shave their mustaches and chins and pluck their chest hairs. Even I find myself faced with a patch of unwanted fuzzies now and then. My problem wasn’t with them advertising it, no. Hell, if I could actually afford something like that, I have a few places I wouldn’t mind taking care of. My problem was with HOW they advertised it.

They were talking about summer coming up and how the ladies NEED to prepare for that and how easy preparation would be if the preparation itself wasn’t needed.

It’s misogyny in it’s finest and it honestly pisses me off. It pisses me off that women are made to feel worthless if they don’t fit the mold of society’s version of what we should look like. It’s exhausting.

I’m just sick of it. That’s all.
I wish people would just love people for themselves and that there wasn’t any pressure to be “better” when you’re just fine the way you are.

End rant.