I’m going to dive right in. For starters, I fell in love. I fell in love with someone who isn’t in love with me. And that, in itself, is super hard to deal with. Especially when you fall in love with someone who is your best friend and they aren’t in love with you in return. It hurts. It sucks. It’s miserable. It’s hard to fucking deal with. And I’m not the best at dealing with things that are hard or confusing or misleading or anything else you can think of to call it.
He’s amazing. He’s my best friend. And we are literally together every. single. day. Talk about a pain in the ass. And I know what you’re thinking. Why not just stop hanging out with him? Because I’ve been having the time of my life. I’ve learned so many things by having him in my life. I’ve grown and I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone. I’ve gone places and done things I would have never thought I’d do. And that’s important. It’s important to try new things. Growing is so important.
He makes me happy. Even if it’s not in the way I want him to. He makes me calm. He makes me realize what’s important in life. He makes me feel alive.
And I’ll hold onto it as long as I can. Because I feel honored to even have him at all.
Second, my period stopped about ten years ago. I had cysts on my ovaries and my period stopped and I was told that it probably wasn’t coming back. The word pre-menopausal was thrown around. It was super weird.
Well…I fell in love and apparently my body decided it wants a baby because now my period is back. And that’s been insane. For all the ladies reading this, remember your very first period? And how hard it was to adjust to it? And how much it fucked with you at first? Okay, well try reliving those adolescent days in your late twenties. It’s been insane.
So I’ve just been trying to learn how to deal. And it may take me some more time. But at the end of the day, I’m happy. I’m healthy. And I’m just taking it one day at a time. It’s all anyone can do.
Be happy. Be healthy. Live. Laugh. Love. Be free. Have a ball. Don’t take the things you have for granted. You’re lucky to have what you have.